


During It All

by EnochPowell



Series: Through It All [2]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnochPowell/pseuds/EnochPowell
Summary: An Heir with unnatural powers and troubling feelings, a King haunted by the horrors of war, a Princess isolated from her only sister and a Queen trying desperately to keep their family together.Second work in the 'through it all' series, posted originally on Fanfiction.net and reuploaded here. Follow the family from the accident right the way up to the events of frozen 2.
Relationships: Agnarr/Iduna (Disney), Anna & Elsa (Disney), Gerda/Kai (Disney: Frozen)
Series: Through It All [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956892
Kudos: 4





	1. During It All Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome to the second installment of the ‘before it all’ series, bit of a time jump and I recommend that you read ‘before it all’ before you read this volume as it will have a lot of background information that will be built on in this series. Also, this series will have lighter notes but will deal with very serious issues present and can be quite violent at times (hence the T rating). Whilst the previous series was focused virtually exclusively on Agnarr/Iduna this series will mainly focus on Elsa and her relationship with her parents and Anna. I hope you enjoy reading this and please leave any comments, if you hate it please tell me because I'm a bit out of practice with the writing aspect of things and do need the criticism to try and improve. I'm a big fan of listening to music whilst I write and the previous album I was listening a lot to was Agaetis Byrjun by Sigur Ros for before it all, whilst this one I'm listening to a lot of () and Route one by the same artist, if you want a vibe I'm going with I highly recommend you listen to them too. Enjoy!

XXX

The wind scraped across the nape of the fjord, its deep blue waters giving way to an inky blackness as the granite rocks edged closer to the surface. The wind whipped round the corners and parapets of the castle, the black stone used to the salvo off the North Sea, the roof creaking gently as the great oak beams sighed and heaved against the bitter wind whipping horses amongst the waves in the harbour. Pearl white foam lay at the base of the castle, multitudes of bubbles stacked against each other like corpses in some great battle. The foam writhed against the wind, tendrils snaking out across the black rocks, damp with seaweed and a dark algae, contorting and twisting like a squid squirming against a harpoon. The king gazed through the stained window, crimson and blue motifs of biblical battles adorning the panes of glass buckling against the winter wind. His steely eyes watched the sigh and heave of the waves, the blackness soothing his racing thoughts from the meetings and arguments of the day. Slender arms wrapped around his waist, making him tense momentarily before the familiar warmth eased him.

“You’re drifting away again Agnarr” Iduna soothed, burying her face into the crook of his back between the shoulder blades.

“There’s another war brewing in the south, Gallia and Avalon are at each other's throats again and the new king of Avalon is being rash.” he turned round and rested his chin on the crown of her head, inhaling the soft lavender scent.

“Avalon is always looking for war where there is none, and Gallia is too proud to realize they’re being baited into a trap. We have no business there so let's leave them be. The lords can pout as much as they want but we broke our alliance after the last war, and we have no need to forge a new one. Industry is booming and our economy is growing. A war will not help that only hinder it.” Iduna stroked his cheek, feeling the slight ruffle of stubble under her fingers. “You need a shave”

“I need a lot of things, many of which I can't have” Agnarr sighed.

“You can have a warm meal tonight and pay with your daughters after their lessons, many people can’t say that” Iduna put a finger to his lips to silence him. “Don’t miss it this time, Elsa is beginning to worry for you.” with that she swiveled and walked away from him, leaving him alone to stare at the black sea once again.

XXX

The pitter patter of footsteps echoed down the great hall accompanied by the squeals and giggles of the two girls. Elsa ran to her chair, her sister opposite her and took their seats, rocking forwards and backwards as they awaited their father to appear.

“What have you girls been up to today?” Iduna asked, shooting a glare at Anna who was play fighting with her fork and spoon.

“We built snowmen mama” Elsa replied, giggling at the indignant anna. “One was called Olaf and the other Runeard, after grandpa” The door opened and Agnarr rushed in, medals jingling on his breast whilst he jogged to the table.

“Sorry I'm late, you know how much the lords like to ramble on” he pulled the chair out and kissed Iduna, the girls both making noises of disgust at the scene. Gerda and Kai presented the meal to the family, Fried fish and potatoes with a leek sauce.

“How was tutoring Elsa?” Agnarr asked the eight-year-old.

“It was good, we covered the most recent war between Gallia and Avalon and our involvement. My tutor said you are a war hero papa” Agnarr froze and put his cutlery down gently, taking a steadying breath.

“There is no such thing as a war hero Elsa, bravery is just a kind word for stupidity. What is important is who is in this room and your people, glory, honour and spirit are nothing when you’re dead and your family is starving.” he carried on with his meal. Elsa nodded solemnly, scraping up some of the sauce onto her potatoes.

“When are we ringing the Yule bell again papa?” Elsa asked, trying to move on from the awkward conversation.

“Tomorrow at 9 darlings, then we have the fair that we can go to afterwards. Remember, no toffee apples this year Anna” Agnarr chuckled as the redhead pretended to faint  
“But they're my favourite!” Anna drawled, putting her forearm to her brow.

“Yes, and they also make you very sick if you eat them, remember last year?” Iduna said as the room had a collective shudder. Anna quietened in agreement and the meal continued in silence.  
When they had finished the servants tidied the plates away and the family retired to the library for games night.

“Banana! Kiwi! Apple!” anna shouted as her sister tried to imitate a melon with her hands in charades. Agnarr rung the bell.

“Parents go, you’re up Honey” Iduna said to agnarr, handing him the basket filled with little sheets of paper. Agnarr unfurled the paper and scrunched his brow as he tried to read Anna’s handwriting. When he deciphered it, he put it on the floor and crouched. The bell rang again.

“Hippopotamus” Iduna shouted, pointing at Agnarr.

“Correct!” he shouted as Iduna ran and hugged him, nearly throwing the taller man off balance.

“How did they even get that so quickly?” Anna sighed, slumping back on the couch in defeat. “They always win” she crossed her arms in a pout.

“Come on girls, time for bed” Iduna said, picking up Anna off the couch and slinging her over her shoulders. “Elsa your father wants to speak to you” Elsa nodded and went over to the king, helping him pick up some of the scraps of paper. Iduna carried Anna off to bed, the promise of a hot chocolate allowing her to leave her sister and father in relative peace.

“How has the control been coming along Elsa?” he asked, taking the wad of scraps off her.

“It has been going well, although if I'm scared its harder to control” her eyes sunk down to her feet and her shoulders slumped. “Papa I don’t know how to fully control it, they're getting stronger”

“I trust in your abilities Elsa, one day you will figure it out. You’re a brave girl and strong like your mother. One day you will have full control over your powers and now whilst there may be things setting you off here and there you can learn to recognize them. For example, you said that when you are frightened it makes you lose control right?” Elsa nodded “Then find out what makes you scared and prepare yourself to embrace those situations. Last week with the spider I noticed frost on the floor” Elsa’s cheeks reddened “It’s nothing to be ashamed of Elsa, its simply something we need to talk about. So next time you see a spider remove yourself from the situation, realise that it is one of your triggers and prepare yourself for your own reaction.” He picked his daughter up and balanced her on his hip with a groan. “You’re growing every day I see you; it won’t be long before I can’t pick you up anymore little one” Elsa giggles and threw her arms around her father, both looking out towards the inky fjord.

“It’s nearly midwinter papa, the fjord will freeze over soon”

“We have enough food fortunately, that trade deal with Weselton was a lifesaver for us this winter. I’m worried what he might want in return next year though so we must be prepared.” Agnarr sighed, shifting Elsa further up so she didn’t slip down.

“He probably wants Ice, the weather in Weaseltown means that no ice forms, but because of that they have wheat all year. Maybe we should employ more ice harvesters over the winter and stock up?”  
Agnarr looked down at his daughter, familiar sapphire blue eyes staring back at him expectantly. “I agree your highness, you are very wise” Elsa giggled. “You will make a fine queen one day Elsa” he pressed a kiss into her platinum hair, hugging her tightly. “Even in the darkest of winters, you can still feel the warmth of summer” he said pensively, looking out onto the fjord.

“How papa?” Elsa’s brows knitted together; eyes cast onto the same inky fjord.

“By remembering the sun” he kissed her head once again before lowering her to the ground. “Come now, Anna is probably waiting for her bedtime story”

XXX

“And the great Hamish ran down the mountain, his mighty club raised high above him!” the girls held their breath as their father’s story reached its crescendo. “The wild haggis’ rallied to his booming call and swamped the town of bashers, their war cries deafening in the night, roused from their sleep the men hadn't the time to put on shoes so when they ran out into the glen they stepped on every thistle in the fields, their shouts of pain and howls only faintly being heard above the Haggis’ battle cry. The Haggis clan chased the hunters down towards the lock and into the freezing water, the men clinging to floating trunks and each other to stay afloat. When the last hunter waded out into the loch they cheered in victory, knowing as they saw the fleeing men that they would be safe for another year. And that little ones, is why if you go to Scotland you need to be careful, for the haggis’ may mistake you as a hunter and chase you into the waters of the lochs."

“Woah Papa, how do you know these stories?” Anna asked as Agnarr shared a knowing look with Iduna.

“Because I have travelled to many places, little pumpkin, and I have learnt the stories from my friends.” He kissed Anna on the head before scooping Elsa up and tucking her into her own bed, kissing her goodnight too. “Sleep well little ones, remember you have your lessons tomorrow so up early, no lying in Anna” a squeak came from Anna’s bed as her mother laughed softly. “Goodnight girls sleep well” He shut the door softly. Iduna and Agnarr let out a simultaneous breath of relief when they heard no noise stirring from the room. They linked arms and walked gently down the hall with each other, Iduna resting her head on his shoulder as she let the ache and tiredness of the day catch up. They finally reached the library and fell on the couch together, Iduna kicking her slippers off and curling into Agnarr.

“I finished those star charts for the ships again today, it should allow them to travel past the cape of good hope now without an escort” Iduna sighed, allowing the warmth of the fire to seep in. “How was the meeting today?”

“Boring and repetitive so same as always. Better boring than exciting to be completely honest” Agnarr cuddled into Iduna too pressing soft kisses into her hair.

“We’re growing old” Iduna replied, stroking circles into his hands.

“We’re not even 30 yet dear” Agnarr snorted, eyebrows knitting. He looked down to meet Iduna’s eyes.

“You look so much like Elsa when you’re being teased” she giggled. “I can see so much of you in her”

“Anna is very much like you too, I remember someone dragging me to the rooftop with as much energy as her at 3 in the morning” Iduna laughed quietly at the memory. 

“Oh god, do you remember the look on Kai’s face in the morning!” Agnarr burst out into a chesty laugh. “I feel sorry for that man and all that he has had to put up with”

“I’m not sure whether the look was fury or disappointment!” Iduna chuckled to herself. “The trousers were definitely the giveaway”

“100 percent. It was so obvious.” The two burst into giggles, reminiscing over the times spent with each other. “I can’t believe that was 12 years ago, it seems like yesterday” Agnarr and Iduna sighed together.

“After everything that has happened, we have our own little family to take care of. Elsa and Anna are growing every single day, they're growing frighteningly fast.” Iduna closed her eyes, bringing back images of the girls when they were babies.

“Probably all the chocolate Gerda has been sneaking them” Agnarr rested backwards again. “Last christmas she even got Anna to eat sprouts by covering them in chocolate” the memory made Agnarr shudder.

“That woman has magic in her blood as much as Elsa does, trust me” Iduna whispered. “Are you happy?” she asked Agnarr.

“Of course, I'm the happiest man in the world.”

“I'm happy too. It’s nice being happy.” She closed her eyes once again and fell into a light sleep in her husband’s arms. The two dozed for a while in each other's embrace, the warmth of the fire and the comfort of the couch pulling them deep into a slumber. Suddenly a shrill scream echoed throughout the castle, making both of their hearts stop with fear and dread.

“Mama! Papa!”

XXX

A/N: I won't cover the events of frozen 1 or 2 because there are two movies for that, but I will cover missed scenes i.e. the times during Elsa’s isolation and the gap of three years between F1 and F2. My flats in Aberdeen are in lockdown because of the virus so I do have plenty of time to write however my medical school is filling up my timetable because they know I won't be going out. Hope you enjoyed and please read and Review!


	2. During It All Chapter 2

A/N: Who is ready for some angst? Me because med school is making me depressed and I am going to a project my feelings onto you guys through this so enjoy!

XXX

Grey mist hung low over the city, the choking fog snaking round weathered houses and streets like a great serpent seeking out its prey. Elsa stared out her window, memories of the trolls flashing fresh in her mind, raw like a scraped knee. The town lay still, as though the fog was some noxious gas putting everyone to a sleep the pale girl at the window longed for, the dark bags under her eyes dragging her towards the floor but the burning memories keeping her standing. A soft knock from the door broke the stillness of the room. A turning of the lock made her stand to attention, the ache across her shoulders burning slightly as her body prayed for rest.

"How are you settling in Elsa?" her father asked.

"Fine" she lied "How is Anna?"

"Awake but she can't remember anything" He said, Elsa turned her back on him and stared out of the window. "It's for the best" Elsa nodded slightly; the movement almost unnoticeable by her father. "I've never seen you so quiet" he said, inching closer. The footsteps made her flinch and swivel round, hands up with Sapphire eyes filled with a glint of fear.

"Don't come any closer, I don't want to hurt you like I did Anna" Agnarr softened, his features sinking slightly as he watched his daughter shake on the spot, hands juddering uncontrollably; eyes brimming with tears. He moved to protest but his shoulders slumped in defeat, he sighed heavily and rubbed the brow of his nose.

"Okay Elsa, I understand. I thought this might happen, so I've brought this" He slides a Canvas bag across the bed. Nervous, Elsa edged closer to the bag and picked it up slowly, hands still juddering with a rhythmic tempo. She peeled back the black fabric, revealing a worn pair of binoculars inside and a little notepad. "They're for watching the birds in the garden, you won't see much today but when the weather is nicer you might. It's something you can do with me without getting too close if it makes you more comfortable."

"Thankyou" she whispered, voice cracking with emotion and exhaustion. Her shaking slowed slightly as she picked up the binoculars and looked into them through the window, the bland mist being all that greeted her.

"I've given you pencils so you don't freeze the ink" she froze at his words, the realisation sinking in and the wave of numbness washing over her once again. "I've also kept Dr Oscarsson as your tutor, he knows the situation and is a trusted family friend, so you don't need to worry about it. I could ask to give you more lessons to keep you occupied if you'd like" she nodded weakly once again, his emerald eyes darting to the floor.

"When can I see Anna again?" her voice was feeble, a whimper amongst the heavy silence of the room.

"When you have control over your powers, until then its too dangerous for you two to meet again" Elsa nodded, bitter determination behind her face. Suddenly they broke and her pale skin grew whiter.

"What if I can't"

"You will Elsa, I have faith in you" With that he left the room, the audible click of the lock turning the last noise to reverberate around the silent room. Elsa turned back to the window, the greyness filling the ache in her chest once again.

XXX

"How is Anna" Agnarr asked, desperately trying to scrub the exhaustion from his face.

"She's physically fine, but its been a week Agnarr and she hasn't seen her sister when they've been inseparable for so long. Shouldn't Elsa at least come down to dinner-"Iduna choked as she was cut off.

"No, it's still too risky, she was terrified of me and I was on the opposite side of the room from her." He sighed, rotating his shoulders to ease some of the strain. "If she were to hurt Anna again…" his voice broke, a lump threatening growing in his throat.

"Both our daughters are suffering; they were fine before; what's so different now? They need each other they are sister's for Christ's sake Agnarr!" Iduna's voice was slowly growing in anger.

"Don't you understand, if Elsa were to hurt Anna, we would lose both of our daughters! Go into her room and look at her, she's barely alive! Elsa hasn't slept in a week; she's racked with guilt and doesn't want me getting close to her because she's frightened of hurting me. If she were to hurt Anna not only would Anna die but Elsa would be pushed over the edge. She would be killed by the grief and the guilt. That is why we must keep them apart, to save both of them!" his voice boomed in the library, a dark look flashed across Iduna, brows crossed with pure fury.

"How dare you talk to me like that! Do you honestly think I don't know what another accident will do to Anna and Elsa?! I know that if that were to happen not only would we lose Anna but Elsa would probably jump out of her own window if that were happen. Do you think I want that? Do you think I want my children to suffer? Are you that blind, that stupid, that self-centred that you don't think I know the consequences?" Iduna took a shaky breath, fists clenched by her side as her usual crown of dark hair began to fall in curls around her face from the shaking and white-hot fury coursing around her. "Are you also blind to see what would happen if we keep them apart! Anna is already in pain because of this and it's been a week. Elsa is as detached and as cold as ever because she's not with her sister. If you keep this up, you are condemning both to a slow death! You are hurting MY children!" Iduna screamed, face crimson with the exertion.

"They're my children too!" Agnarr replied, the vein in the temple bulging threateningly. "Just because I don't want to take the risk of another accident happening doesn't mean I don't care about them. You are willing to take that risk, the risk that both our children will be dead by the end of the week, for the sake of not keeping them apart! Listen to yourself Iduna! You are being rash and thoughtless. We're not in the forest, no spirits are going to come and save us this time around. Pull yourself out of your childhood fantasy and see the world for what it is. We must keep them safe, no matter what the cost is!"

"Childhood fantasy?!" Iduna screeched, she took a step closer and jutted her finger harshly into Agnarr's Sternum. "How dare you accuse me of not caring for my daughters. You are just like your father! Pig headed, arrogant, self-centred and brutish!" Agnarr's face fell in hurt before the rage took over.

"What did you say about my father?" his voice was quiet, like the eerie silence before a storm.

"That he was a murderous, arrogant man that couldn't see past the brim of his own nose!" she screamed. "My daughters are not going to be hurt by you. I will not allow them a second more of this agony you are putting them through!" She was standing on her tiptoes now, so she was level with him. His face turned an ugly purple and his breaths became shaky.

"My father was a great man, he made Arendelle prosper and comparing me to him is a compliment" His voice was quiet, but the shake in it gave away the poison behind them.

"Don't be so naïve, you know your father started that battle in the forest. He killed my father, my mother died because of it and I saw my brother be cut in half in front of me. He was a murderer and a coward, just like you are. You would rather condemn our daughters to a slow death than try and help them just because its difficult. You are an embarrassment of a father and a failure as a king" Iduna stepped back, trying to control her breathing.

"How dare you!" Agnarr choked as the hurt consumed him, mixed with the anger it fuelled the flames, his face turning crimson once again. "For god's sake Iduna grow up!"

Crack

The slap echoed across the room, stunning both into a silence. A bright red handprint spread across Agnarr's cheeks as both of their eyes widened in shock. Sapphire met Emerald and the two breathed heavily in the silence between them. "Agnarr…" she said, her voice faltering as the shock of what she did began to sink in.

"Get out" he whispered.

"I… I didn't mean it" her voice was quiet, like Elsa's before.

"Get out!" Agnarr screamed, Iduna put her hands to her face, tears spilling over. She looked at him with a pained look of remorse and pity before whipping out the room, slamming the door loudly behind her. Agnarr slumped against the wall, the wooden panelling creaking loudly under his weight. He bent himself in half, squeezing so tightly that his knees touched the crown of his head. Sat in the corner of the room he let the tears fall, the pain and anguish of the week swallowing him like a tidal surge. He sat there, curled up into a ball, silently weeping for the family he once had, until the moon broke through the mist, bathing the library in its silver rays.

XXX

Agnarr woke from his slumber, the sharp angles of the couch jutting into his side uncomfortably. His neck was bent sideways as it lay in the unnatural position forced by the weight of his body. He groaned, trying to force the ache and pain from being cramped up to leave his limbs. Cracking his neck and shoulders he wiped the sleep from his face, feeling the rough stubble under his fingers. Stumbling over towards the desk he checked his timetable for the day. No meetings or conferences until next week, he sighed; relief washing over him as he cracked his back, wincing slightly at the deep crackles coming from his spine. He began to wander about the castle, stopping by the kitchens for a slice of bread. Chewing on the slightly stale slice he found himself outside of a white door, blue Rosemaling stretching up above him. He swallowed the rest of the bread, building up the courage to knock on his daughter's door. His hand automatically moved towards the knocker and the metallic clinking rang out. He put the key in the lock and opened the unnaturally cold door, the bass handle freezing to the touch. Elsa was still sat at her window, although this time rather than staring into the grey mist she was attentively staring down her binoculars held with one hand, animatedly writing down notes with the other. Agnarr cleared his throat and she squeaked, the binoculars falling down and being caught by the leather strap around her neck.

"Papa, what are you doing here?" she asked, her eyes suddenly growing wide with fear.

"I've come to see how you were doing." He took a step forward and a sore nerve from the night on the couch twinged painfully forcing him to wince.

"Are you okay? You seem hurt." She tilted her head to the side, blue eyes analysing her father with a perception like her mother's. "Did you and mama have an argument?"

Agnarr opened his mouth to protest but upon seeing the squinted sapphire eyes he knew any denial would be futile. "Yes, but it wasn't a big argument. We still love each other." he hoped. Satisfied with his answer she turned back towards the window.

"So far I've seen a barn owl in the docks and the usual garden birds by the feeders. I've also noticed how the blackbirds prefer the ground under the trees when its rained" she stated, eyes scanning the treeline once again.

"I thought we could play chess again today actually, you need to keep in practice" Agnarr said, moving the wooden board from her wardrobe to a small bedside table. Elsa nodded, scribbling down some final notes before carefully putting the binoculars away. She joined her father, edging the chair as far back as possible to keep her distance. He noticed her shake slightly, although notably less than yesterday, and he steeled himself for any outbursts. They sat down and the game started, Elsa's focus being exclusively on the board making her shakes disappear as she focused on the game at hand. The battle raged between them, each player taking decisive tactical decisions and mulling over their plans. A sweat broke out on Agnarr's forehead and Elsa started ringing her hands as she calculated each move on the board, pieces slowly being removed from their place, piling up at either side of the wooden square. The room darkened, the mid-morning sun giving way to the deeper hues of the afternoon. The sweat grew more and more as Agnarr realised the futility of his position and Elsa's hands wrapped tighter and tighter around each other as the excitement bubbled in her belly. Finally, Elsa moved her queen, the two stared in silence, working out possible moves and counter moves but none came.

"Checkmate" she whispered. "Checkmate!" she screamed with delight, jumping up out of her chair. As she did so however ice shot out of her hand and hit the ceiling, forming great big icicles pointing down towards them. Frost also shot from beneath her feet, turning the wooden floor into an Ice rink. Agnarr recoiled in shock, the surprise of the display of power knocking him on the floor as he scrambled to get up. Elsa opened her eyes and saw the winter scene, face crumpling and then twisting in fear. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm Sorry!" she shouted, breathes coming shallow and fast as the panic coursed through her veins. She clambered away from Agnarr, backing herself into a corner. Her sapphire eyes were wide and unblinking, darting around the room and staring in horror at the icicles and frost spreading around her room. As her panic grew stronger and stronger, so did the magic until a whipping wind and blizzard filled the room. "Get out! I don't want to hurt you!" she shouted at her father through the snow.

"Elsa! Calm down, you're safe!" he shouted, voice drowned out by the wind.

"Get out!" she screamed, suddenly the storm halted. An eerie stillness consumed the room, the silence being punctuated by Elsa's frantic breathing and Agnarr's heavy heaving.

"Elsa…" he started, taking an unsteady step towards the ball in the corner.

"Please papa, I don't want you to get hurt." She looked up, tears brimming in her sapphire eyes and Agnarr lost the strength. He nodded once again and skidded towards the door, trying desperately to keep his balance on the thin layer of ice covering the floorboards.

"Please Elsa, don't let the emotions consume you" He said, unlocking the door and leaving into the warmer hallway. He rested against the wall, hearing his daughter's sobs start up again and a wrenching pain shooting through his breast. He stayed there, praying, and hoping that she would come out and look for him, that he could wrap her in a big hug and make all her troubles go away. He stayed there until the early hours of the morning, the silver mooning rising high above the snow-capped mountains. A blanket was draped over him and he startled, bleary eyes darting around the hallway. "Who's there" he mumbled, the cold and damp from his clothes seeping into his core.

"A friend" a familiar voice whispered. A warm mass sat next to him and rested her shoulders on him, the familiar scent of lavender filling his senses.

"Iduna?"

"Yes silly, now tell me what happened" her voice was quiet, all trace of anger and frustration gone, replaced with a tired and sad monotone.

"Elsa's powers are brought out by joy just as much as they are by fear" his voice was deathly quiet, the weight of the admission heaving on his heart like a weight. Iduna shuddered beside him, feeling warm tears starting to soak into his shoulder pads. "Joy for her is just as dangerous as fear"

XXX

A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading this!


	3. During It All Chapter 3

A/N: Finished for the week! Med school has been busy but fun. I hope you guys liked the slightly darker tones of the last chapter but if you didn't don't worry, there's some lighter tones coming along. The brightest sun is always after a storm.

XXX

"What's this mama?" Elsa asked, a slight tremor twitching at her fingertips, staring intently at the innocuous black book placed on her bed. The bed had become a negotiating table whenever her parents or Gerda came through. They would place whatever Elsa needed on the bed, her on the side by the window and them on the side near the door. They would back off and Elsa would step forward, collecting and asking questions, before retreating back to the window, back pressed flat against the cold glass. Ever since the chess incident no one had crossed the imaginary border at the end of her bed, whenever Gerda tried to either clean the dust or simply be close to the pale girl Elsa would start uncontrollably shaking, one time even rushing to the bathroom and throwing up dark bile. Elsa's anxiety was slowly deteriorating, the tremor was now permanent like the dark bags under her eyes. She had noticeably thinned, the trays of food often left picked at but barely eaten, her hair becoming greasy and thin as her body slowly wasted away.

"It's a diary, the doctor said it would help you" Iduna replied, her sapphire eyes filled fixed on the dying girl in front of her. "You're very poorly and your father and I are worried for you. We told Dr Jorgensen about your condition and he says you suffer from anxiety." Iduna paused, wrapping her shawl tighter around herself. "He said that if you were to write a diary, to keep track of your feelings, you will be able to realise what situations make you feel ill and how to stop them from happening" Iduna shuddered as the temperature dropped even further.

"Don't you understand?" Elsa said, wringing her hands whilst frozen to the spot. "I feel like this all the time, I'm so scared of not being able to control my powers, of being broken forever, of hurting you and pappa or anna or anyone!" she let out a shaky breath, puffs of moisture coming out in the now freezing room. "I will always feel this way as long as I can't control my magic!" Tears began to streak down Elsa's face, leaving bright red marks down her pale cheeks.

"I understand Elsa, but in the meantime, you must find a way to cope with these things, it might not be a cure, but it could be a way to cope for now." Iduna took a step forward, Elsa jumping back and pushing her body flush against the window. "You're growing sicker and sicker every time I see you Elsa, you're wasting away in front of me. When was the last time you had a decent sleep?" The silence spoke for Elsa. "Just what I thought. You will be queen one day Elsa, you need to look after yourself." Elsa snapped her head up, the weight of the crown snapping her out of her spiralling thoughts. She nodded silently, faint determination marking her weakened features, once chubby cheeks and bright eyes replaced by sullen cheeks and a benign blankness hiding the pure fear and terror of the young princess.

"I- I'll try it" her voice was faint yet filled with as much determination as her tired body could muster. The blankness had a spark deep within it, her mother saw it and she smiled, hopeful for the first time in weeks.

"Good girl. I'm proud of you" Iduna said. She nodded to Elsa before leaving the room, breathing a sigh of relief as the door clicked into place.

XXX

Attempt 1 - In which Anna breaks her bike

"Elsa! Come out! I know you're in there!" The redhead crossed her arms and scrunched her face in thought. "Why don't you want to play?!" The redhead grew more frustrated with each passing day.

"Go away Anna, you can't be here" The voice came through the door.

"I'm never going to give up! I'll make you come out of your room no matter what!" Anna stormed off to the library.

Elsa sighed in relief hearing the tell-tale footsteps fade into the distance. Then a rattling rumbled through the floorboards, confused Elsa pressed her ear to the wooden floor; the rattling grew louder and louder with each second. Soon a blood curdling battle cry came from the hall as the rattling grew into a rumbling, the cry also grew louder, reaching its peak just before an incredible bang and crash echoed throughout the wall before falling silent. On the other side of the door, Anna lay in a heap, a crumpled bicycle tangled with her arms and legs, one of the tires with a very severe bend in it. "Ow…" Anna groaned, picking herself free from the mangled bike, she groaned again when she heard the frantic sound of footsteps rushing up the stairs. Gerda gasped, seeing the bruises and scrapes Anna was covered in.

"Anna! What happened?!" she asked, rushing over to the little girl fighting back tears. Gerda's gaze fell on the white and blue door as she sighed. "You know you can't see your sister Anna." She wrapped the younger girl in a big hug. "Let's get these cuts seen to by the doctor." She helped Anna up again and the two of them limped to the Infirmary.

XXX

Attempt 2 – In which Anna breaks her Wrist

Bang

The noise rang out throughout the castle.

Bang

This time it was accompanied by a heave and a sigh from Anna dragging up the heavy sledgehammer up the stairs. "Come on you hammer! Move. Up!" with a heave she pulled it up the step and another bang echoed across the castle. She carried on, her back and legs burning from the exertion of pulling the heavy lump of metal up the winding stairs to Elsa's room. She heaved and heaved, her tiny legs buckling under the strain of the weight once or twice, threatening to send her toppling down the stairs. She glanced over her back, the summit of the staircase visible and a slice of the icy rosemaling on her sister's door peering round the corner. She gave the hammer a great heave and it jumped up another step, the slither of door growing slightly larger with each step up. The exhaustion disappeared as the burning determination overtook her, her aching legs all but forgotten as her desperation to see Elsa took hold. She pulled and pulled at the weight, the fire burning in her heart forcing each step with a bitter determination and deep-set inner strength. With a final heave she lifted the hammer over the last step, the last push of effort making her lose balance and fall backwards, the Sledgehammer coming with her. Eyes closed she let out a great sigh of relief and punched the air in front of her out of victory.

Only she didn't find air.

She felt her fist embed itself in fabric then strike a solid mass, shocked she opened her eyes to find the sapphire-blue eyes of her mother staring back at her. Iduna shook her head and stood back up after peering over the exhausted child, picked up the sledgehammer and locked it in a side cupboard.

"You know it's not safe to see your sister Anna." Iduna said slowly, resting her forehead against the dark door of the store cupboard.

"But why? When can I see her?" Anna pouted, the exhaustion and frustration kicking in after the monumental effort to heave the hammer from the stables.

"I don't know." Iduna's voice was quiet and dejected, she closed her eyes and wrapped the crimson and purple shawl over her shoulders tightly. "Have a bath before you come down to dinner, you're sweaty." She said whilst walking away, leaving a very frustrated Anna lying in the hallway. Anna screamed, the pent-up frustration and anger spilling over the imaginary dam walls, she jumped up and ran towards the wall shouting.

"Elsa if you don't come out now, I'm breaking this door down!"

"Go away Anna, you'll hurt yourself." A muffled voice said.

Anna shook on the spot, her face growing red and twisting into an expression of pure sage. With all her might she brought her fist back, balled up in a lump of bone and flesh, and slammed it into the door as hard as she could.

A loud crack reverberated through the hallway, for a split-second Anna thought she had won, the door giving way slightly with the wood breaking.

Then the pain in her wrist started.

XXX

Attempt 3 – In which Anna breaks the door

"Professor Bjorgen, you're telling me that my daughter is actually studying unhealthily?" Agnarr asked, eyebrows raised in disbelief and confusion. "Anna, the girl who until recently fought me every time she had lessons, is studying so hard that you think it's unhealthy for her?"

"Yes, your majesty, she had gone through a semester of work in a matter of weeks and I've found her asleep in the library at 6AM. She will burn out if she carries on any longer." Professor Bjorgen was the head of the University in the town and Anna's private tutor.

"What exactly has caused this change in behaviour?" Agnarr asked, still dumbfounded about the whole ordeal.

"I don't know, but every time I have seen her studying it has always been to do with chemistry, I don't know why considering she hasn't even had any lessons on it yet, but she has already achieved a national school level understanding of it and quite possibly beyond that." The professor was just as stunned as the king, both men sitting in silence for a while as the news sunk in.

"I understand, you know how Anna gets, its all or nothing with her. I will talk to her about it and encourage her to keep working hard but do it in a healthy manner. Thankyou." The king picked up his pen and continued scribbling on the trade deal draft he was working on. The Professor bowed to the king, leaving him in peace. Just before closing the door he paused, groaning something stood between the hallway and the office.

"Your majesty if I may, although Anna may act daft and immature sometimes, she is just as intelligent, if not more so than Elsa. Don't underestimate her." Agnarr looked at the older man, nodding in understanding whilst he left.

Agnarr sighed, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and stretching his tense muscles before continuing scribbling on the parchment. He felt the castle shake slightly, making him put his pen down. Suddenly a loud boom rang out across the castle, making him immediately duck under the table out of instinct.

"Anna, Elsa" he whispered to himself, arms over his head in a prone position. Jumping up he ran towards the sound of the explosion, sprinting past the odd maid or guard looking about in surprise. As he rushed towards Elsa's corridor the smell of chemical smoke became stronger and stronger. He reached Elsa's door to find the lock to find it blackened and charred. He banged on the door, panic rising inside him. "Elsa?! Are you okay?!" he shouted through the door.

"I'm fine papa, what happened? It sounded like a bomb." Elsa's breaths became shallow and fast, the gravity of the situation hitting her. Agnarr tried the door but it wouldn't budge, thinking it was frozen shut he slammed his shoulder into it, but the door wouldn't budge.

"Elsa? Have you frozen the door shut?" he asked, trying desperately to get the door to budge.

"No, I don't know what's going on, there's no ice there!" Her voice was harsh, but the tell-tale chill of a panic attack wasn't coming under the door.

"Guards! Search the castle, find who has done this." He shouted at the uniformed men, they saluted and sprinted away.

"It was me" a faint voice came from behind the store cupboard door. Agnarr whipped round to see Anna; dressed in an oversized lab coat and goggles. "I tried to break down the door using fireworks."

Agnarr froze, seeing the scorched door and mangled lock with his daughter standing by it made him furious, but at the same time the cold realisation that the fault could be traced back to him made that anger dissolve. "No dessert for a month." Anna looked at her feet but didn't protest "go and tell kai to call off the search." Anna nodded and jogged away to find kai, leaving Agnarr and the scorched door. He tried the handle again, but the blackened brass got jammed as soon as he tried to turn it. He took some of the residue and smelt it, feeling the familiar singed powder in his fingers.

Flash powder

Flash powder burns much hotter than black powder and in a shorter time. The result is steel melting heat with a lot of energy. Great for blasting through locks and setting off canons. Not so great if that metal is brass that bends and melts instead of shattering.

"Elsa, your sister tried to blast the lock, but she's managed to melt it in the inside. I'm going to call the Groundsman to cut it out. Stay tight and we'll have it fixed soon." Agnarr shouted through the door.

"Okay Papa, I'll wait in the toilet whilst he fixes it" the muffled voice replied.

Agnarr put his head in his hands, the frustration and anger at Anna's attempts straining him to no end.

XXX

Attempt 4 – In which Anna breaks

"Elsa please, I'm your sister" the attempts at breaking the door had given way to defeated pleading with her older sister to come out. "What have I done to you? Why do you hate me?" Anna's tear streaked face was red from crying and shouting and pleading, the last three hours of begging her sister to come out whittling away her resolve bit by bit. "I love you and I'm never going to stop trying to help you. Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you Anna, just go away please" Elsa replied through sobs.

"Never! You're my sister-"

"Go away Anna!" Elsa screamed, Anna shivering as a rogue gust of wind swept through the hallway. "Leave me alone and never come back."

"Elsa…"

"Just stay away from me Anna, go play with your dolls and forget about me." Elsa sobs racked her body as the words came out of her mouth.

Anna stood shocked for her part, teal eyes wide in fear and hurt. Before she knew what was going on, she was running, her legs taking step after step down the hallway, tears flowing uncontrollably from her face. When she reached her room, she slammed it, stunning her mother walking to see what was going on.

"Anna dear, what's the matter?" she asked creeping the door open. The girl was sat on her bed, body shaking from the torturous sobs, wrapped up into a small ball under the covers. She was quiet, the exhaustion, pain, hurt, and frustration overwhelming her tiny frame and dragging her whole body down into a deep tiredness that seeps into your bones.

"Why does Elsa hate me? What happened?" Anna sobbed harder, curling up into an even smaller ball.

"Your sister doesn't hate you, she's just very busy." Iduna lied.

"Don't lie, I know she just hates me. Tell me what happened!" Anna rolled over to look her mother in the eyes, teal met sapphire with a bitter and fierce determination. Iduna crumbled whilst gazing into those tears streaked eyes, familiar hints of green mixed with her blue staring right back at her.

"Your sister is ill, you being close to her and her being close to you is bad for both of your health's. You have to trust us Anna." Iduna pleaded.

"How can I trust you when you keep us separated from even seeing each other?" Anna rolled over again, leaving the stunned Iduna to rush out of the room by herself.

XXX

1 week later

"You're shaking more." Agnarr noted, cleaning up the barely picked at meal during their daily talk. Wide eyed, Elsa looked up, the months since the accident bringing her exhaustion to new levels. Dark rings circled her eyes and a bone deep weariness made each movement sluggish. Barely eating had thinned her down and at nearly 10 years old she looked thinner and frailer than someone half her age.

"I can't control it. E-Every emotion that I feel whether its joy, relief or anger or fear sets off my powers. I can't win."

"You can Elsa, I have faith in you. When I cam back from the war I went through something similar with my own feelings. The best way is to not feel them. As a monarch you cannot allow your emotions to govern you. You cannot allow yourself to shout at that prudent diplomat or draw your sword at a former enemy. Politics and diplomacy does not work that way, and neither does your powers. You have to conceal it and not feel it. You mustn't let it show." Agnarr sighed. "Repeat it Elsa. Conceal, don't feel."

"Don't let it show" she repeated the mantra. Closing her eyes she focused hard on rooting out the emotions deep within her soul, boxing them up and stopping them from appearing altogether. Her shaking slowed and she took a deep breath, a silent and neutral expression falling across her face. The room warmed slightly.

"That's good Elsa. It's working."

"Really?" the surprised expression on her face fell when as soon as she looked around the room frost darted from beneath her feet.

"Remember the motto!" Agnarr said with a hint of anger in his voice, more from the frustration than anything else.

"Conceal it, don't feel it. Don't let it show" Elsa mumbled it to herself a few times, the frost retreating and thawing; the room temperature slowly rising.

"That's good, repeat it whenever you find it getting worse" Agnarr opened the door, balancing the tray of untouched food on his hip. "Goodnight Elsa, try and get some rest." He left her alone, a solitary candle keeping her desk alight. As soon as she heard the footsteps fade into oblivion she rushed over, pulling out the now worn Diary her mother had given her.

21st August

I hate myself.

XXX

A/N: Please read and review!


	4. During It All Chapter 4

A/N: Choo! Choo! All aboard the angst train! Thanks for the reviews and the discussions going on, its amazing that you guys have stuck with it all this time and I am amazed at the positive support I’m getting for this piece. Keep it coming!

XXX

_First Entry_

_Dear Diary…_

Elsa scribbled it out. “No that’s too immature.” She muttered to herself, blowing away the scraps of rubber left behind by the black smudge on the cream paper. She looked over to the bed to see her favourite tattered penguin standing to attention on the sheets. “What do you think Sir Jorgenbjorgen?” she sighed, shoulders slumping as she went leant back on the diary. “I guess you’re right.” She pressed the pen to the paper and began writing.

_This is the first time I’ve ever had a diary; Anna has always had one, or more specifically several that she has lost and found. I don’t really know what to write; mama and the doctor tell me to write down my feelings, maybe that way will help me control my powers better. Each day they’re getting stronger and it scares me. The other day I froze Sir Jorgenbjorgen, and I cried all night until he thawed. It’s getting to the stage where he is the only person I can talk to now, the only person I can trust. If I talk to papa then he will grow more scared and angrier at me, he tries to hide it and control, but I can always see it. If I talk to mama, she will worry more about me and call more doctors and stay with me for longer. It’s dangerous for them to be near me. I can’t afford to let them get hurt. It’s bad enough for them to have a dysfunctional daughter, they don’t need one that could kill them too. Anna keeps on trying to get me out of my room, but I can’t. If I see her again, I know my powers will explode and she will be hurt. I cannot let that happen; I love her too much to allow that to happen. The guard’s outside my room are right. I am broken, weak, dysfunctional, and frail, I can’t even look at pictures of my sister anymore without frost coming out of my feet. I hope papa makes Anna queen; I can’t do it. I study and study, but it will all be for nothing if I can’t control my magic._

She sighed, finishing the first entry, and shutting the leather-bound book carefully, tucking it away in the alcove of her desk.

XXX

_Repression is hard. I try to push down every surge of emotion before I get a chance to full feel it, but it takes away all of my strength and leaves me feeling sick to the stomach. I haven’t been eating well because of it and I know the others are worried as always but every time I try to eat it always comes back up after repressing. It does work and I am thankful because it is the only thing that seemingly does but I don’t know how much I can take. It always makes me on edge and jumpy, especially when I’m tired. My daily sessions with papa always make me snappy at Gerda for a reason I don’t know why. I always apologise after wards and she’s very understanding but I don’t think she truly means it. I am sorry for all of the stress and headache I have put my family through. I don’t want to feel this way and I hate feeling this way. I wish I were normal, or at least alone so I couldn’t hurt or annoy anyone for any longer._

A solitary tear dripped onto the paper, smudging the ‘longer’ into a black streak that trickled down the page. She muttered under her breath and groaned in frustration, drying it with a tissue before roughly shutting the book out of frustration. She looked at the clock and groaned again, it was 3AM and after another restless night she was beginning to feel the exhaustion in her bones again.

_It has been months since the accident, and I haven’t been eating for weeks. Nothing bad is happening I am just growing more and more tired, more and more restless. I tend to spiral more too but wouldn’t anyone as broken as me? Maybe the powers aren’t the only thing that’s wrong with me? Maybe I was sick to begin with and the magic is just the cherry on top?_

_XXX_

Her hands shakily heaved out the leather-bound pages, the very effort of moving out of bed weighing on her shoulders like a great anchor, dragging her down into the depths of her own mind. Months had passed, the long months of winter marking the passing of a full year. Her skin had grown incredibly pale, almost translucent against her spindle like frame, marked only by ugly swollen joints and black bags under her hollow eyes. Doctor after doctor had seen her, even a specialist from Edinburgh trekking out at the expense of her parents to see the deathly ill girl. He had given her a bitter tasting liquid derived from poppy seeds and dried mushrooms which made her sleep, but when she woke up, she would lose complete control, causing the worst ice outbreak yet. The doctor from Finland had been the most barbaric yet, offering to flog her to ‘purge’ the poison out of her young body; her parents had very quickly thrown him out of the castle.

_It has been a year now since the accident._

Her handwriting was shaky and weak against the parchment.

_My legs are beginning to swell again, I think it’s the cold, but mama says its not eating properly. I don’t care anymore; I wish I could disappear and maybe if I don’t eat for a while longer then I might. My breath tastes sweet, it reminds me of those sugary sweet’s papa brought back for me from the bakery one day but no matter how much I brush my teeth it doesn’t go away. My hair is now streaky too, its really brittle and is coming out in clumps with lines of darker hair running across it. Maybe it’s the magic leaving me as I slowly weaken myself?_

She let out a shuddery breath, a wave of nausea washing over her.

_Gerda and mama look at me with those same worried eyes, I can feel them on me even when they have left. They pity me. The animal that’s wounded and captured. The dog in a cage. Every day I wake up and wish I hadn’t, every day I can feel my life and magic leave my body bit by bit. I’m even too Ill for tutoring now, I can barely focus for more than a minute and when I do, I usually faint afterwards from how exhausting everything is. Gerda tries to force me to eat, so does mama and papa, but its just no use. At the least she forces me to bathe every day and do my teeth but even that once automatic task is daunting. At least I’ve stopped throwing up now, the nausea is still here but with nothing in my stomach there’s nothing really that can come up; Gerda was really worried about that for a while, even calling the doctor immediately to my bedside when I first did it but she seems to have settled down now or given up. Which one it is I can’t tell._

_In truth I don’t know why I keep doing this, writing in here that is, whether its to record my final days now or to simply appease mama; maybe even give her something to remember me by. Either way I know what is looming, I’m young but I’m not naïve enough to think I'm going to get better. Either the magic leaves my body, or my life will. Whichever lasts the longest is the winner. I think Gerda and mama would cry but papa will probably be relieved. At least Anna would be safe then. She would make a great queen, always full of life, always loving everyone. Even me._

A solitary tear dropped onto the parchment, making the last scrawled character blot across the paper.

_I’m tired of this. Not the sleepy tired or the bone tiredness I heard the dockers talking about once but the tiredness that seeps into your very soul. It’s more than tiredness its an exhaustion. Every night I see anna lying cold in my arms. Every night I see the same frightened look on papa and mama’s faces. I want this to end. I want this to stop._

_XXX_

“She’s becoming too weak Iduna we have to do this” Agnarr’s voice trembled, the resolve behind it faltering slightly.

“We can’t its barbaric! She’s our own daughter!” Iduna pleaded, voice hoarse with talking all night.

“And it’s for that reason that we have to do it, she is killing herself Iduna and we’re just sat here watching her die. The medication doctor’s have given her haven’t worked and despite our best efforts we are watching her waste away in her room. I cannot allow my daughter to die” the pleading in his voice turned shaky, the veins in his neck bulging and his face growing red.

“But this… This is hurting her more!” Iduna screamed, her anger boiling over too.

“This will save her life Iduna.” He slumped over, rubbing the dark circles under his eyes. “The doctor ensured she would be under the anaesthetic for the procedure, so she won’t remember it”

“That doesn’t make it better! Her sapphire eyes sparkled with a darkness like no other, smacking her forehead with both palms she groaned, balling her hair in her fists.

“You know deep down we need to do this flower” Agnarr’s face softened, a solitary tear streaking down one cheek. “We need to save our daughter.” Their eyes met, emerald meeting sapphire like so many times before. Once filled with happiness love, now filled with fear and a cold tiredness shaking their family apart. Iduna nodded slowly, tears welling in her eyes, before a sob shook her core. In an instant Agnarr was there, wrapping her smaller frame in his arms, rocking her gently as she shook into him.

XXX

“I brought you tea Elsa, please drink it.” Agnarr’s hands shook, the china clinking on the tray as he nervously placed it down. Elsa nodded, her impossibly thin frame slowly making its way over to the table arranged in the centre of the room. She took the cup, her frail hands barely able to lift the light saucer and took a sip. Immediately she recoiled in disgust.

“Why is it so bitter?” her voice was hoarse.

“It’s a new tea from Ceylon, I’ve heard it suppresses magic. The priests there use it to suppress demons in people” Agnarr suddenly became intent on the bed, trying bitterly to avoid meeting the ghostly eyes of his daughter. Elsa nodded, a fierce determination setting in on her face that made Agnarr’s heart swell with pride. Within a second the tea was gone, and Elsa was clutching at her stomach as though to force the tea to stay down. When her stomach settled, she placed the china down, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she crumpled in mid-air. Ina second, she was in her father’s arms, tears welling in his eyes as he held her limp body against his, scooping up her impossibly light frame and settling her into bed. He hugged her tightly, recognising the value of these stolen moments, not knowing when would be the last time he got to hold her like this. Placing a kiss to her forehead he sobbed once, a core shaking sob that threatened to overflow him with guilt, pain, sadness and fear for his beloved daughter. He slapped himself.

_Conceal don’t feel_

Two shaky breaths. One rub of the face, a pinch to the knuckles and a wipe of the brow.

His face hardened, green eyes almost a steel grey as he set his mission in his mind. He walked out the door and nodded to the doctors and Iduna who came rushing in.

“We don’t have much time.” Dr Brown, a specialist from Avalon said. “That sedative is for us to give her the nutrients and then for her to wake up an hour afterwards, so we need to act fast” he unwrapped a thick black tube from a white cloth, connecting it to a metal machine before getting his assistant to position the princess so her mouth was open. “Your majesties, this will be very distressing so I would advise you to leave the room.”

“I’m never leaving my daughter’s side” Agnarr’s voice was thick with tears, but hard as steel underneath. Iduna shook her head with him, the stone in her throat blocking her to speak. He left his wife’s side and wrapped Elsa’s hand in his. The doctor and assistant nodded before inserting a metal hook like device into her mouth with an odd squelching sound. The doctor shone his torch into the princess’s mouth, brown eyes focused intently on the passage into her stomach. When he came to the flap separating the lungs from the oesophagus, he gave a short sharp jab before feeding the rest of the tube in. The assistant placed a specially fitted mask over the princess’s mouth and started pumping another rubber bag, causing her chest to rise and fall at a slow and steady rhythm. The doctor started pumping the metal section of the device, a thick yellow fluid flowing into the glass connector for the tube.

“Time?” he asked to his assistant, forgetting Agnarr and Iduna at the side.

“5 minutes for insertion, 1-minute pump time. 2 pints left.” The doctor nodded silently and continued with the slow rhythmic pumping of the fluid into Elsa’s stomach. The pressure meter on the cylinder suddenly dropped and the doctor stopped pumping, pulling out the tube in a quick motion, leaving a bit of feeding fluid on her lips that the assistant quickly wiped off.

“There were anti emetics in the tea so it will stay down” the doctor said, disconnecting the tubes and putting them in a cloth sack for cleaning. “I will come again in 3 days’ time for another session. The fluid is filled with sugar, protein and carbohydrates so she should last until then. My hope is that as we do these sessions her appetite and health will come back.” The assistant wheeled out the device from the room, storing it away in a cupboard of the hall. I recommend you follow up with a friend of mine in Vassar, he is an expert in child mental health, especially after the war where they used the school corps, Agnarr and Brown shuddered collectively, he’s a bit unorthodox but it works. Brown handed Agnarr a folded card that he placed in his breast pocket. “Your daughter is ill, but she can get better. It will be difficult but it’s not impossible.” He shook the king’s hand and left with his assistant, casting one last sad glance over the young girl laid down on the bed. The door clicked shut and both parents ran over to their daughter, wrapping her unconscious body in a tight bear hug, the both of them valuing these moments more than gold or their kingdom.

“Little one I’m so sorry” Iduna mumbled into Elsa’s body. “I’m so, so sorry.”

XXX

The sessions continued for the next months religiously every 2 days. The soreness in Elsa’s throat was explained by a winter flu, nothing that warm drinks didn’t cure. Within the first month Elsa’s cheeks had filled in and her frame grew thicker than before. Her appetite returned and her mood had improved, the treatment despite being barbaric working on the young girl. Before long it was her 10th birthday, the day passing by with a small cake ceremony and a card from anna slid under her door. Her mother had given her a telescope, a great big brass thing that was still quite heavy for Elsa to move but she loved it, spending hours upon hours with her mother watching the constellations and planets slowly soar across the sky until the early hours of the morning. Iduna cherished these moments, the normal Elsa returning underneath the fear and anxiety of her powers.

In late July, when the sun set at near midnight, mother and daughter were watching Venus through the telescope. “How are you feeling Elsa?”

“Better” the quiet girl replied, “I can eat more now and am not so weak, but I still can’t sleep” Iduna nodded in agreement.

“It takes time to heal.” The mother whispered, more to herself than to her daughter. “You have come a long way Elsa, remember this and know that you are stronger than you think.” Elsa nodded in agreement, her leg still shaking slightly with the proximity of her mother.

“I can’t help this fear and hatred of my powers though.” Elsa’s voice was thick and shaky. “Every day I wish they were gone.”

“I know little one, but they are part of you. You cannot wish your arm or leg away, so why would you wish your powers away?”

“Because they hurt people”

Iduna fell silent, letting out a light huff of frustration at her daughter. “There was a murder in town the other day” she said after a long silence. “A wife used a hammer to murder her husband because she thought he was having an affair. She jumped off the bridge into the fjord, we found her body yesterday.” Elsa’s eyes widened with shock. “just because of this one incident, should you father ban all hammers from the kingdom?” Elsa shook her head. “Hammers, like your magic, can be used for great evil and can cause great suffering, but if we were to ban all hammers from the kingdom, we couldn’t build anything. There is good within the bad and bad within the good, its merely a case of balance. Learn to control your powers and you’ll see the good your powers can do. How beautiful they are and how beautiful you are. Never forget that Elsa.”

XXX

A/N: Sorry for the delay.


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